Volume 26: Interlude 3 - Mushrooms have nothing to do with this
In the kingdom of Vernia, the king's job is to eat, sleep, and occasionally hunt for women.
When I, the embodiment of such a man's romanticism, went out for a walk in the courtyard to kill time, I found that Serina and the others were throwing mushrooms at each other.
「There!」
「Aahhh, that's not fair, Serina!」
「Hyaaa!」「Hawawa」
They all seemed to be taking it seriously, but it wasn't a fight or a battle.
「What are you guys doing?」
I ask, unsure of the reason.
「Oh, it's the erotic old man.」
「Oh my, hey, Alec. Do you want to join us? Mushroom dodgeball.」
Serina says, flailing a polka-dotted mushroom in her hand that looks suspicious like a poisonous mushroom.
「I don't want to. I mean, what the hell is that?」
I've never heard of mushroom dodgeball.
「Haven't you heard of it already? You're still out of touch with fashion, aren't you, Alec? It's a very popular sport in royal capital right now. It uses these magic mushrooms. Here, try it.」
Serina threw the mushroom at me.
「Hmm? Ohhhh!」
As soon as she hit me, the mushroom disappeared, probably due to the magic power, and my body suddenly grew bigger. My height has doubled. Normally, when the body grows, the clothes tear, but this one seemed to be fine.
「How does this work?」
「I don't know the details, but it's probably some kind of hallucination.」
「Oh, I see. So, if I grow up, I lose?」
「Yes, you do. You'll be back to normal in a few hours, so it's safe.」
「Hmph, that's ridiculous」
It's thrilling if you take it seriously, but it's not a game I want to play.
I quickly forgot all about the existence of such a sport, but a week later, Guard Captain Lancelot approached me about it.
「Your Majesty, about the mushroom dodgeball that's popular laterly...」
「Hmm? Oh, you mean that. What's wrong with that?」
Lancelot, a workaholic who trains and patrols soldiers whenever he has time, brought up such a topic, which made me a little curious.
「Yes, some merchants have been selling mushroom dodgeballs on the streets of the city, and we have received complaints from the people and other merchants that it is dangerous.」
「Why don't you just crack down on such people?」
You don't need to ask me that.
「That's what the minister of this country has authorized. ......」
「Mumurh, who authorized such a thing?」
「Minister Isak.」
I have no idea what he looks like, but if the minister authorized it, will the guard hesitate to crack down on it?
「I don't care. I'll fire Isak later. Just get on with it and crack down on that merchant.」
「Right away!」
Lancelot immediately grabbed the merchant and came to the castle.
But the merchant was wearing a headband and a sash on which it said, 『Mushrooms have nothing to do with this』.
「Hey, what is this 『Mushrooms have nothing to do with this』 thing?」
「Yes, well, well, well, Your Majesty, as you can see, I have nothing to do with mushrooms.」
The merchant, who was tied up with a rope behind his back, said with a grin.
「No, that wouldn't be right.」
If it has nothing to do with you, then why are you appealing to mushrooms like this, suddenly full of contradictions.
「I did some research, and it seems that the merchant who developed those magic mushrooms is this old man here, and he has nothing to do with it.」
Lancelot said, and the old merchant beside him opened his mouth with a troubled look.
「Your Majesty, I have told the man many times to stop using the mushrooms without permission, but he won't listen.」
「Hmm, I'm starting to get the picture. ...... So, you, who really have nothing to do with this, have spotted the magic mushroom craze and started a new business to capitalize on its popularity.」
I'll tell you what I think.
「Yes, well, you're right.」
「Then why don't you show a little respect to the merchant who developed it? I'm sure you made a lot of money thanks to this man.」
「No, no, Your Majesty, I developed the business model of playing on the street, and I put a lot of money and effort into it, and I'm the only one who's working on it.」
「Hmph, if you're so sure, you don't need to play mushroom dodgeball to compete, do you?」
「N-no, that's ......」
「Any business that requires the use of magic mushrooms to make money is a scam, a 『Deceptive Business Practice』 just like the one from the fire department. Enough. Put him in jail and cool his head」.
「Ha!」
「Your Majesty, please wait! Please listen to me! At least three times. And lots of witnesses from my friends!」
「Silence. It's enough to listen to you once」
「Come on!」
「No way!」
Why is it that when it comes to making money, some idiots just start doing crazy things?
Today, the King of the Kingdom of Vernia is very busy.
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