Elfaria Chapter 63

063. What's Done is Done

　As for the mission to defeat the demonic beasts around the southwestern part of Lake Hanaria, it was successfully completed despite some accidents.

　Among them, our success was outstanding and our reward was doubled.

　As for the investigation, we only told Luia that "we encountered a dark elf, but she escaped" ― and we returned to Hanaria. And

「Congratulations! After careful examination of the contents of this assignment. Although it is said to be an "exception among exceptions", the Fixer Guild officially approves Yuuto Orihara-san as a "D rank"!」

　At the guild, Hannah-san congratulated me with her usual smile, but

「...... Thanks」

　I could only thank her in a dark and small voice that I could recognize myself. Then

「Oh, Osada-san. Is something wrong with Yuuto-san?」

　As expected, Hannah-san noticed something unusual about me and asked Osada-kun a question with a puzzled expression on her face, but

「Ah~...... I can't give you the details, but I think he has become a little "distrustful of women" because of "something stupid" the girls did a few days ago.」

「T-that Yuuto-san!?」

　It was as if to say, "The sun rose from the north!?" but I will remain silent because it is an undeniable fact.

「After that, I tried everything ― it seems this guy has finally lost the ability to even touch a woman. We don't have a choice. We're thinking of going to a treatment center now.」

「――Nope. I don't want to go.」

　I rejected the idea once and for all. Also.

「? I don't know what happened, but I'm sure Barbara-san and the others were with you ― if that's the case.」

「EEeeekkkkk!!」

　As soon as I heard her name, I involuntarily let out a strange cry.

「N-N-Noo! O-Only her......I-I don't want to be examined only by her!」

　She has become a "synonym for fear" and more terrifying to me now than the Demon King.

　Why did you adopt that method after that? Did you ask for help from Lilyza and the others? I asked her that, but.

「Y-you see ― I thought that in order to vent your sexual desire without 'penetration' was to adopt a slightly 'abnormal method'...」

　When she said something like that, I thought to myself, "What the hell is this woman thinking?"

「I felt that normal sexual intercourse would surely cause you to go berserk, and I also felt that ― "by yourself" ― it wouldn't be very effective.」

　Barbara explained in a faltering manner with a troubled expression on her face.

(I mean, there are probably a lot of other ways to make a man ejaculate, so how is it a treatment or an experiment!? That way!)

　But, it is an undeniable fact that it was effective, much to my chagrin.

　Days have passed since then, and I have not once had a sexual desire for a woman, nor have any abnormal thoughts that resemble hunger ever come to mind.

(Though the cost was too great.)

　Even with Lilyza and Nora, my body trembled and I could not even shake hands with them.

　Of course, they apologized to me over and over again, saying "We're sorry!". I don't blame them in the slightest, but...

(Somehow.....I feel drained.)

　I don't feel like doing anything.

　I feel empty, as if everything has burned up into pure white ashes.

「Oh, umm~ I don't mean to be presumptuous, but since Yuuto-san and your party have been so active since you became fixers, why don't you take a break for a while?」

　Perhaps noticing this, Hannah-san made such a suggestion.

「Take a break...... take a break, huh?」

「But is the situation in the eastern part of the country safe?」

「There are certainly some concerns, but Yuuto-san and your party are not the only fixers, and there are many capable generals in the military. Also, the results of this subjugation mission will gradually appear...」

「......Well, I'm not exactly strapped for cash.」

　I have saved up a good amount of money, and to begin with, the total reward this time is over 100,000 Wen (10 million yen), and between us, unless there are very special circumstances, we are supposed to "divide it equally".

　Therefore, it amounts to 16.000 wen (1.6 million yen) per person. In addition, Lilyza, Nora, and Barbara have returned part of their compensation in response to the incident.

　I strongly refused, saying, "I don't need it!" but I had no choice but to accept it because I was given various reasons such as "Take responsibility," "Apology," "I can't get my feelings straight," and so on.

(But there's no point even if all I have is money.)

　There is nothing in particular that I want to do at the moment, nor is there anything that I want.

　In the end, the only option I could think of was "eat a meal and go to bed," which was too lazy...... Osada-kun said "I have something to do", and went away. After that, I rented a room at the "Moon Fairy Pavilion," a mid-level inn near the guild, and lay down on the bed.

(Ahh-ahhh. What the hell am I doing?)

　I asked myself, but I never imagined that I would ever "distrust women" or "have ED".

　At most, I was forced to perform a perverted act by only a few women―On the other hand, I felt as if I had been reminded of "a part of the fear of women," and it was complicated.

　Especially Lilyza, I guess it was her personality, but she seemed like a "succubus" or an "SM queen" to me.

(Well, I guess I can't help but call it an "unexpected side", though).

　I don't know what other people think, but I'm just trying to be a "normal human being".

　I have never forced anyone to have sex with me.

　Forcing someone to do something they don't want to do, while it is a situation that can be very exciting, is not my style, and I don't feel good about it.

「I think that Lovey-dovey♡Sex is the best!」

　I'm not sure if it's a good idea to have "lovemaking" or not, but it's my policy, and I've been doing it for pleasure and peace of mind.

　That's my policy, and I was only doing it for pleasure and comfort, but―

「............」

　I lay on my back on the bed for a while, staring blankly at the ceiling of the inn...

「――Tsk. So I ended up back "here" after all.」

　It had been quite a few days since I was transferred to Elfaria, and just when I thought I had managed to get around, I couldn't help but feel that I was back to my old "rotten self" from when I was in Japan.

　I don't like to talk about this kind of thing, but I guess I am now classified as a "successful" or "winner" person.

　I have money, and honor, and have never lacked for women.

　I am feeling weak just because I stumbled over a pebble called "a little trouble," even though I should have been looking only "forward" and moving forward as I wished. I am on the verge of losing myself.

(Was this the extent of my existence?)

　I heard voices of affirmation and denial, but..――

「Gaaaah! This won't do!」

　I forced myself to sit up and scratched my head with both hands.

「My thoughts are completely swamped! I'm falling into the worst pattern I've ever experienced!?」

　Besides ― I remember the faces of Lilyza and the others.

　They apologized a lot, and I don't have any particular thoughts, but they're still kind-hearted women. I'm sure they still care about me.

　It would be impossible for me to truly tell them that "I'm okay now" and that they "don't have to worry" about me unless I myself get back on my feet.

　For the time being, "It's not good to stay cooped up in the room!" I thought and went outside again, but...

「But.....I wondered if "distrust of women" and "ED" could be cured so easily?」

　I don't know because I don't know anything about it, but isn't it difficult? I can't help but feel that.

　It was a hot topic in Japan for a while, and I've seen stories on the Internet that even after "drug treatment" or "counseling", there are still cases where it can't be completely cured.

　It is too serious a problem for men. ......Am I going to be like this for the rest of my life? I can't help but shiver on my own at the thought of it, but...

「Ah!」

　Perhaps because I was walking while thinking about the mess, I bumped into someone and my baggage was scattered all around me.

「I-I'm sorry!」

　I hurriedly picked up my scattered luggage, but then I heard an unexpected voice.

「What, it was you, huh? It's been a long time, hasn't it?」

　It was Grieve, a "Grimoire Writer" and halfling woman.

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